HAHAH finally I didn't see Mr. B in my dream.

So it all started with me getting off work last night and just woke up in the morning for Sunday (which is basically right now). But the house I lived in was totally different, looks like my aunt's place more. I got a call from my GM, she was asking me if I can come in for the 19th, cuz they were short in workers. My mom was telling me in the back how they're overworking me. And so I had to go in there for an 8 hr shift. I was so close in rolling over to AIM and change my "no work!!" in my info. Anywho, so I had cherry tomatoes for breakfast, its juice were all over my plate. Then I rushed to BART to work cuz i work at 4. But I met a guy who was my friend's friend. He was younger and he was like all over me emotionally. Not Physically, mind that :P. So I followed him to a cafe/hotel ish thing. it was like 1948 as the door number. First we were waiting in line for a coffee thingy, where I bumped into Karen and I'm assuming her partner. So I asked if she's gunna play in the Spring Davis tourney. Then I walked into Chantelle who actually works at the cafe thing. Then the guy finished making this colorful jelly drink for this person and left with me. We went upstairs by a bus, and it looked like Chinatown. We had like 2 boardgames over there with everyone in the room. I remembered seeing Jessica sitting on the side, neglecting the game and focusing on her homework. I saw two girls that I know, but I just can't remember their faces. At the end of the game, me and this one girl were in a room waiting for the results. I finally realized that I was late for work, and just walked out and yelled at the guy who took me there. I was 2 hrs late, so I just yelled at the guy as I walked to BART. Then we bumped into this lil white kid who tried to bully him. I didn't have time to deal with it, so I just started pinching his cheeks with my nails and shove him in the door. The End.

LOL at my old resolutions... RIDICULOUS :P

2009 resolutions:
1. spend less money
2. drink less alcohol
3. no more B-!!!!!!!!!
4. no oral sex for a year (suggested by kaye)

that should be good for now :]

Why do we value education so much? Yes it is noble, intelligence allows us to understand everyone else, if not ourselves, so we are not living life like a bunch of idiots. Ok, I take that back, we're still living like a bunch of idiots. But that is not the reason I write!

Have you ever think about how ALL YOUR PROFESSORS knew about the "midterm" period. If you're lucky, your midterms will be spread out within 2 weeks. Still not enough time to ace them all unless you have super knowledge, GENIUS. Here, you'll be choosing 2 out of 4 classes to study, the other 2 you'll need to pray to your god or somebody else's god. If you're not so lucky, you'll probably have a back to back midterm. Not a Tuesday-Wednesday back to back, but like 11am then a 12pm midterm! NOW THAT IS COLLEGE! It's murderous!

On top of midterms, you might have classes that LOVES research papers, or analytical papers. Whichever is fine, anything like 10+ pages will meet the requirement for evil professors and their paper assignments. And you're probably sitting there and say to yourself, "fuck... I've studied for chemistry, and I've studied for African history. I'm braindead. I don't know what am I going to write about Indian economics and another one on Scandinavian theater."

Poor you. Those professors don't really give a damn. If you're lucky to be in your major, good for you. You don't have to worry about being accepted, ALL OVER AGAIN. If you're not so lucky, or claimed to be lucky for getting into the college of your dream with UNDECLARED, you're not lucky now! You've got crowds of fellow classmates ready to murder you so there is a slightly higher chance to get into capped majors. Oh did your school teach you about modern cannibalism?
So now you find yourself sitting at your desk, writing thousands and thousands of application essays. Maybe think about writing about modern cannibalism, it's definitely creative and shows potential for long-term research.

Humans. We call ourselves civilized. Yet, we are indirectly seeing our best friends bleed with paper cuts and we can't do a single thing. No wonder suicide is the #2 cause for college deaths, because #1 is homicide.

Oh, while I'm typing this, I'm killing myself with caffeine overdose :]

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

HELLO FELLOW PACKERS! WE ARE SBC PACKERS WORLDWIDE! HERE, SBC!THE WORK NEVER STOP! SBC YESTERDAY,SBC TODAY!TOMORROW SBC ALSO! HERE AT SBC PACKERS WORLDWIDE, WE'LL PACK ANYTHING! YOU BRING IT HERE, WE'LL PACK IT IN FRONT OF YOU!WE'RE THE BEST PACKERS IN THE WORLD!OUR MOTTO HERE IS THAT IF YOU PACK WITH US,WE'LL PACK WITH YOU!THAT'S RIGHT!THAT'SH RIGHT!BUT IF YOU DON'T WANNA PACK WITH US, YOU CAN GO PACK YOURSELF!
WE PACK A LOT OF THING HERE BOOKS,PLANTS,PERNITURE...ANIMALS! WE'RE THE BEST ANIMAL PACKERS IN THE WORLD! I PACK MORE ANIMALS THAN NOAH! BUT THE MOST DANGEROUS ANIMAL TO PACK IS..YOU LIKE FIGHTING ROOSTER? HERE WE CALL IT IN THE PHILIPPINES, THE COCK! THE COCK IS BERY DANGEROUS BECAUSE THERE IS A SHARP BLADE ON THE ANKLE! BUT YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP THAT COCK, YOU CAN'T JUST GRAB THAT COCK RIGHT AWAY! YOU HAVE TO CONFUSE IT! YOU HAVE TO CONFUSE THAT COCK! YOU HAVE TO CONFUSE! THEN YOU PUT IT IN A BAG, OR A BURLAP SACK. SO WE ARE THE BEST COCK-SACKERS IN THE WORLD! WE WON'T DELIVER TO OAKLAND BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY BL'CKS THERE! THERE'S TOO MANY BL'CKS IN OAKLAND! IT'S DANGEROUS FOR ME!I'M OLD! I MEAN LAST TIME I WAS IN OAKLAND, I WALK ONE BL'CK, I'M TIRED! I WALK TWO BL'CKS FORGET IT! THERE'S TOO MANY BL'CKS THERE TO WALK, I WILL NOT WALK THOSE BL'CKS! HERE AT SBC PACKERS, THE WORK NEVER STOP,SBC ALL THE TIME! WE HAVE TWO TYPE OF JOB THAT IS AVAILABLE TO ANY PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE!IF YOU'RE GOOD, THEN YOU'LL GET PROMOTED TO THE ABOVE JOB! IF YOU'RE GOOD, BUT IF YOU'RE JUST STARTING, THEN YOU HAVE TO START OFF WITH THE BELOW-JOB. THERE'S THE ABOVE-JOB, AND THE BELOW-JOB. I AM NOT ASHAMED, TO GET DOWN ON MY KNEES AND GIVE AWAY AS MANY BELOW-JOBS AS POSSIBLE!
HERE AT SBC PACKERS WE HAVE A GUARANTEE THAT IS IRON CLAD,MADE OF BRONZE. BUT FIRST! I HAVE TO TAKE A SH'T! I HAVE TO TAKE A SH'T OF PAPER, AND ON THIS SH'T IS THE NAMES OF ALL THE RECIPIENTS.SOME OF THIS DOES NOT STICK TO WHAT WE PACK HERE! ALL THIS PACKING, NOTHING IS STICKING, C'MON! I COME IN , AND I SEE ALL THIS SH'T ON THE GROUND. AND I HAVE TO YELL AT MY GRANDCHILDREN,MY COWORKERS, AND THE GUY I GAVE A BELOW-JOB TO THIS MORNING,HOY!PACK THAT SH'T, PACK THAT SH'T,AND PACK THAT SH'T!

女: 遺憾到無助到難受到殘酷到到早上很怕張開眼晴 Regret, helpless, suffer, and cruelty make each morning too fearsome to see
　　連望見牆上撲灰一片都想到那張臉便逃命和怨命 Even seeing a grey wall reminds of that face and makes me want to run away and blame fate
男：這麼感性　難怪無法撇清 This sensibility is hard to determine
　　已逝去感情早已沒生命 That feelings from the past has long lost its life
　　這種反應　完全是任性 This reaction is ultimately from ignorance
合：告別唯有當擦亮眼晴 I must bid farewell to brighten up my eyes

合：多少失戀者仍然健在 How many broken hearts are still healthily alive
　　證實要放棄過去至找到未來 Proving that one must let go of the past in order to find his/her future
男：曾被愛同樣有權分開 Those who were loved has the right to break apart
女：拒絕悔改 Rejecting repentance
合：會死於愛海 Will lead to death in the sea of love
合：一生本應該活在現在 Life is supposed to be about living the present
　　掛念會美化了錯愛　永遠受害 Longing would only beautify wrong love, eternal suffering
女：愁在理論像哲學精彩 Worry about how reasons can be as interesting as philosophy
合：說易行難無可奈 Easy to say, but hard to act, what can I do?

女：誰沒有盲目過然後再麻木過要恭賀得到比失去多 Who has not been blinded, then numbed, but remember to congratulate yourself for getting more than what you've lost
　　沉澱過明白過只不過花開過最想念仍然是無花果 Sank, understood that although the flowers have bloomed, I still missed the fig most (fig is literally a plant that does not bloom as flowers)
男：話雖不錯　人有時愛痛楚 太自覺可憐偏卻沒幫助 This is true, people sometimes love pain, but feeling too pitiful has no help
　　大千色相　誰人憑甚麼 Millions of facets, who can rely
合：會令誰永世　困在最初 On whom forever, but only to be trap in the starting point

合：多少失戀者仍然健在 How many broken hearts are still healthily alive
　　證實要放棄過去至找到未來 Proving that one must let go of the past in order to find his/her future
男：曾被愛同樣有權分開 Those who were loved has the right to break apart
女：拒絕悔改 Rejecting repentance
合：會死於愛海 Will lead to death in the sea of love
合：一生本應該活在現在 Life is supposed to be about living the present
　　掛念會美化了錯愛　永遠受害 Longing would only beautify wrong love, eternal suffering
女：愁在理論像哲學精彩 Worry about how reasons can be as interesting as philosophy
合：說易行難無可奈 Easy to say, but hard to act, what can I do?

女：如可　這麼理智的話 If I can have these senses
男：那段愛可能是假 This love might have been fake
合：就與他哭到快樂吧 But cry with him until you both are happy
　　也許開心過總有代價 Perhaps happiness has a price after all

合：多少失戀者仍然健在 How many broken hearts are still healthily alive
　　證實要放棄過去至找到未來 Proving that one must let go of the past in order to find his/her future
男：曾被愛同樣有權分開 Those who were loved has the right to break apart
女：拒絕悔改 Rejecting repentance
合：會給感性所害Will let your sensibility injure yourself
一生本應該活在現在 Life is supposed to be about living the present
　　誰每日能開心喝彩 Who can cheer happily everyday
　　最可惜理論如何精彩 Unfortunately, no matter how interesting can senses be
　　那寂寞如何忍耐 It is hard to withstand this loneliness

You dunno what you need until you lost it. You dunno what you can get until you get to sample it.

After being hit on 9 times this fuckin year, I realized what I can get. Although it might not be as great as I wanted. I sure know that I have my ways to get my flings. Yes, flings. I'm not really interested in getting a deep deep loving romance. Not really ready to fall over a cliff after I struggled to climb up.

But! A kiss is just a kiss. Yes there's a bit more to a kiss, but so what? It's a corrupted world after all. Yet, I'm not too opposed to it as long as I'm not falling for it. I know my limits. And I believe my fate will bring me to the places I need to go, to do what I need to do. We'll see what happens three weeks later haha.

FUCKIN IM BURNED!!! AND SKIN GOT HELLA RASH!!

So tonight's the fourth night in a row to dream about him. What's so good about him? NOTHING. I do not fuckin know why is he poppin in my dream?!!?!?!??! I'm rather pissed at myself because unconsciously I chose to do this.

I haven't been happy with men. So this thing is like a double attack. First I was watching WOIL 2 and Bosco was an asshole, so I hated both him and that girl he cheated with. Basically what he did just shattered my heart. I just don't get it, what is so hard about keeping feelings? So you like person B when you're with person A, but you misses person A when you're with person B? GROW UP! You'll just end up getting with no one!

That brings me to my second point. It's easy to say, but actually hard to perform. I know what he's going through, yet I miss him this much?? I know every single reason not to, yet I do? I was talking to one of my friends, and she said that even if she knows this guy has hurt her most, she would get back with him if she has the chance. Why are we so stubborn? Why must we hold onto a hope that's barely existing yet can describe every detail about it and enlarge that minimized importance?

Maybe without this problematic heart I can live a dull and systematic life. Oh gees, when will I meet the man of my life? Am I seriously looking at the wrong places like what my coworker said?

So I had a weird trip last night. I was going on a group road trip with Rebecca, Kimhak, Kenneth, Kerri, Steve, and some other people. For some reason, my mom wanted to go on this trip too, but she couldn't leave at the same time as the rest of us. So the whole group were to meet up at UBC. It definitely didn't look like UBC, looked like some sort of waiting room ish restaurant thing. Then I saw my middle school crush, Randy. At first he didn't notice who I was, and he was talking to my friend. I don't know who I was with, but the girl seem to know of him. They then exchanged screen names because he forgot his phone number. My friend and I facebooked his sn and found his number. Then he facebooked my friend, and found me through my friend's friend list. He saw some of my recent pics (which is totally not the ones I have on my facebook in reality lol). So in these pictures, I was wearing this evening gown type of dress, silver greyish colored, the ribbons criss cross at the stomach and shoes the belly button and all. Randy complimented on how fit I looked. I thought he was just being nice and complimented it as if I was a stranger that happened to have a nice picture. Apparently, he found my phone number on my facebook when he was browsing. Then he texted me with his screen name "Hi Connie ;)" I glanced up and he smiled at me. It was so awkward that made me want to leave ASAP. So I said I have to leave now when I saw 2 of the cars we're taking on the road trip pull up in the parking lot. So I went out. On my way to the cars, I was talking to Rebecca and trying to ignore Randy who was behind me while I was walking out. I was telling Rebecca that I don't want to be in the same car as Kimhak. Then when I saw Randy getting closer and closer to me, I just got into the nearest car through the trunk (they opened the trunk to put the bags in). Fate end up putting me right behind Kimhak and next to Rebecca. Then I just sat there thinking if I should wait for my mom or just go. Then I woke up from my dream.

Wanna explain to me what is up with my head???

So summer has started for 3 weeks now? What have I done?
-Bum around the house and watch dramas.
-Finished Taiyou no Uta, now starting Yamada Taro Monogatari & War of the In-Laws II.
-Worked more hours!
-Ran around Lake Elizabeth today! Ok, jogged and stopped constantly lol.
-Played badminton!
-Went to Great America for the first time!

I'm actually liking this summer thus far. One thing is that first year in college got me through the stressful moments I've ever had in my life. I don't necessarily have to repeat it, because some of you might know that it's still bugging me. Well yea, I blame myself for it too. But then again, as long as I know what I'm doing, it shouldn't be a bother to my life as before. True that. The problem is: I have no self control. So if I fall again, I'll fall just as deep. I need super glue in my life so I can hold still. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that is like the story of my life: Stand for something or else you'll fall for anything. I guess as long as he's still chilling in my life, I can't ever add the period onto this story. The only thing that bugs me is how he would be friendly sometime and ignorant the other days. Lately, he's the friendly type, I just have that feeling of something bad will soon happen. I'm very superstitious, so I really trust all these feelings I have. Another thing is fortune telling. The cards said that I might be back with him again. Soon. I just don't want to think about anything. Whatever happens must happen for a reason. It's God's decision, not mine. Well, it's not mine in the first place, since I sold my soul already. Technically it was my original wish, so I can't dislike it too much?

But! I'm looking forward to the rest of summer!
-Kennedy's graduation
-All the other UCs people are back
-BEACH on the 20th!
-GA again on the 22nd?
-RUN and LOSE FAT!
-19th Birthday!
-Summer school (I have no life XD)

Keep on smiling. It'll fool someone ;]

jessica: I should get myself a bf who can read it to me for a bedtime story
jessica: lolz
jessica: ^^;;
me: hahaha
me: you prolly cant sleep from that
me: XD
me: too exciting
jessica: LOLz
jessica: who said we were sleeping?
jessica: lolz
jessica: xD
me: woahhh
me: what?
me: >_<
jessica: jk jk
jessica: lolz
me: OMG
me: YOU SCARED ME
me: LIKE WOAH
jessica: AHAHAHA
jessica: adding spice to your life
jessica: =P
me: cheating on me now?!
me: lol
jessica: I thought we had an OPEN relationship
jessica: ^^
me: darn..you noticed
me: XD
jessica: of course
jessica: =]
me: shudda date someone dumber hahahaa
jessica: AHAAHHAAH
jessica: I'm just understanding

Sometimes I really wonder, do we truly get happy when our wishes come true? Although I must agree, that wish had given my extremely high temporary happiness. What about in the long run? Will I still be happy and grateful even if this wish is at other's expense? Even if it can cause mind disruption and eternal grief?

Now that just brought me to my second point. Nothing is eternal! Not people, they die. Not architecture, they deteriorate. Not institutions, they change. (Learned that yesterday from the guest professor from Davis.)Not history, they can be removed. Not love, they come and go. I had been fooled that love would be eternal. There is something that S mentioned. (S as in person, not the furniture retailer I wrote my paper on.) Love only exists when two people have mutual love. Not one, but both. No matter how long I dreamed about having those mutual feelings, truth hurts.

Sometimes I just want to be bold to someone who has now gone through wicked karma. I would've told that person: I suffered what you are suffering, where you agreed or not, it's the truth. I've lived through the same pain. When something is gone, we want to end our lives there, especially after this invisible bond has formed; but is this all worth it? Think about the last time you felt like this. Think about now. Life is odd. It runs in a cycle; when you think you've found the love to die for, it turns out you'll find the same thing again later on in life. People change. Perhaps we change more, so we look for someone different; or maybe they change quicker, we're then no longer their cup of tea. So look on the bright side. Life will eventually spin us to the next heart beating event. It'll give you the next shitload of happiness.

Proximity doesn't mean anything. Even afar, he can miss her. You can never educate love.

me: omg..i lipsync too hard
me: i heard my jaw go cluck
steven: mmmm... no comprende
steven: but okay
steven: *nods* :]
me: it went "cluck" noise
me: omgggg
steven: are you turning into a chicken?
me: no...
me: but im a chick :]
steven: that was a good one lol
me: YES for once!
steven: Connie - (-1) Steven - 10293820810328108232
me: oh fuck you
steven: catching up
steven: xD

My mood is controlled by the weather. Remember how it was a sunny week last week? Then it has gotten windy? Then raining yesterday (well, at least when I had to walk home)? Then sunny yet sprinkling at times today? That's just how my mood's been. It's wild and unpredictable. So wild that I got so focused about it and neglected studying. Memories come back again and haunt the shit outta me.

I don't know when or how, I've been thinking about getting wings tattoo. You're probably thinking, oh she's just wanting to act goth again. No, this time, it symbolizes a person. I just CAN'T BELIEVE that I WANT A PERMANENT SCAR ON MY BODY FOR A PERSON OF THE PAST! I'm supposed to be more rational than this! Why am I allowing myself to keep an artificial "staple" in my body? Hasn't the pain been enough? I'm too masochistic.

The rain and the sun are just like my ego and alterego. Both cannot exists in the same forum, yet I can't choose what to do. If only this had never happened to me. This is why the matrix system works. This is also why corrupted governments can sometimes remain in power. Ignorance. As long as this whole situation poses neither benefits or threats to me, I should be able to ignore its existence.

BUT!
1. Every firsts are remembered. It happens a lot in history courses.
2. It's forcing me to bargain with the devil. I lose control once the jealousy he plants in me blooms and spreads.

This is dedicated for my mustached friend :]
A staple of the relationship secures that bond with love and trust, my friend had said. If you forcefully remove that staple, you might ripped off a part of your flesh. In the most common case, it's only dog earring the corner of the page x]. Even with help, like the staple remover, there's still those two holes from the blunt piercings of each end of the staple. You can never remove those piercings. They are just like the mark left by your beloved vampire. One whom you have fallen in love with because of his or her sexiness (both genders are equally sexy), but all your sexy friend did was to drain you. Oh, and by the way, That's how vampires have sex. :]

God is playing a game with me. This can't be happening! I swear! Why does everything come back to you and haunt you when you believed that you've successfully K.O. your enemy? Every tiny detail comes back and tells me it's not over yet. My HP's been down by half and I'm poisoned. I can't last another battle.

http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/jw!5G1p_biaERslhYDkFRpYuQ--/article?mid=996

"... 至少對於將來是有期望的。
講述睡王子不停尋找睡公主過程和心境,
去尋找安全感讓王子自己安心去睡。
就算結果如何也要相信她的存在"

但講到尾，女巫都係孤獨的。

"...At least being hopeful to the future. Narrating how the sleeping prince felt and gone through while he is constantly in search of the sleeping beauty, to seek for that security to allow the prince to sleep without any worries. No matter what the results are he is still believing in her existence."

But after all, the witches are always lonely.

I was listening to Denise Ho's Sleeping Prince. Found this blog. I just find it really cute. Especially how the song had this line:
如明知戀愛荒謬　如明知都市喧鬧
但如果可以一生一世依靠你睡去
Knowing how ridiculous love is,
Knowing how noisy the city is,
But if I can sleep by your side forever and ever...

Makes me feel how everyone probably has all three of these characters before: the prince, the princess, and the witch. Everyone must have had a time where he/she is completely devoted to their significant other. It's the time where we love to use the phrase "Forever and Ever." It's where the fairytale begins and anything around us is completely wiped out, because after all, love is blind. We cannot see what is right or wrong. All we know is that our mission to live is to devote our life to serve or make our "princess" happy.

This blindness is also causing us to ignore that each of us has our own "prince" to treat us like that "princess." Because we are so blind, we became selfish animals who only focus on our personal feelings. In a way, we are creating a story by dreaming; dreaming in such a way that we are living in our own lies.

But have you noticed? The most wicked character in the fairytale is telling you the greatest truth. Realist or not, the witch is a pitiful character. In a way, you can argue that the witch is doing the sleeping beauty a good deed: to protect her from all these one-sided effects of love. Although she is lonely, she is content. She is content with her knowledge. Fairytale for children makes everything about the witch seem so negative. That she is just so full of herself and jealousy took over. She is only a lonely character who has experienced enough. She is the outsider, yes a bitter outsider. Nonetheless she is helping the prince and the princess to go through the tough moments of their relationship. If they can actually survive through romantic hardships, that is the beginning of such unbreakable bond. Something that should be treasured, no matter how corny it might sound.

I've been on the ride, thinking that it's absolute fun and amusing during the process. Once I get off, I missed the ride, I'm dizzy from it, yet I liked it. But once I got off, I realized that it's just the same fuckin' ride that goes round and round!

The lesson is: even though you're not the participant of the ride, you can see that this manipulation goes on and on. More participants go onto the ride, thinking it's the best they've experienced, but they are not that special after all.

being alive means happiness?
someone has a crush on me, shall i smile?
in reality i've thought about it, if i accept it then i'll live better
true, there are a couple more who said they admire me
so i have a need to be enthusiastic?
but the shadow within still exists

forever solitude is not that scary, does that surprise you?
what strengths do you have that's forcing me to miss you?
there are few pass by me who are not bad
are the friends of the whole city jealous of me? they became strangers suddenly
why am i dropping tears? do you know?

jealous of me for what?
say that you'll adore me, it's just bullshit
you have no incentive to know me, but you say you like me the most
love is only to cuddle at night
for the common excitement and protest
whom i love just had to hide from me

forever solitude is not that scary, does that surprise you?
what strengths do you have that's forcing me to miss you?
there are few pass by me who are not bad
are the friends of the whole city jealous of me? they became strangers suddenly
why am i dropping tears? do you know?

you already married her? and able to remove our memory?
but i still can't let go, is stubbornness a crime?
i've been hurt, but the wound wouldn't end itself as a scar
still superstitious, finally wait til she suffers from your lies
i can still be envied, really?